Guest List Guilt

by clumsylawyer

Having sat together and composed our guest list the other day, I have since transferred it into my mega-organisational spreadsheet.  This has led to a significant amount of guilt on my part due to the fact that the guest list appears to be comprised primarily of my guests.  I have (in true maths-geek style) created some beautiful charts and graphs to show what I mean.

Warning!  Boring, statistical analysis ahead!  Read on if you dare…

The daytime guest count is very even: 50 of mine to 48 of his.  It’s the evening guests that fill me with massive guilt.  39 to 12.  That’s over 3 times as many for me than him.  Eek!  I would just like to state very clearly before continuing that this was not planned!  We both just wrote names on the list.  I decided it was worth further investigation, so here are some more pretty graphs (and these have more colours and are therefore prettier):

Mine on the left; A Man’s on the right. I think you’ll probably get the hang of this.

At first glance, it looks pretty fair.  If you combine the family, extended family, family friends and children (most of whom are family kids) they’re really pretty similar.  So I feel better for a moment.  Then I remember that all of our mutual friends went on A Man’s list.  Then I also remember that our total numbers are vastly different.  The guilt starts to creep back in as I realise I am planning to invite lots more friends than A Man is.

Mine; A Man’s

Let’s go back to the daytime.  As we’ve got such similar numbers the comparisons make me feel a bit more comfortable.  Again, taking the family, extended family and family friends together, they’re virtually identical.  A Man being in charge of the mutual friends sort of takes care of the fact that I’ve got a lot of family kids to invite.  Consider that most of the Plus 1s on his side are guests of his uni friends and again I’m back to my comfort zone.  Everything seems just in the world.  So it’s just that evening guest list which is an issue…

Aah, yup.  It’d be those pesky uni friends who’re the issue.  Remember when I was talking about having to invite an entire group if you invite one of that group?  That’s where the problem lies.  When I was at university, I volunteered with a disabled kids’ charity, and used to spend a lot of time with the other volunteers.  I’m closer to one or two of them than the rest but I can only imagine the fallout if I don’t invite all of them (particularly as one girl got married last summer and we all attended, albeit as somewhat last minute guests).  I don’t necessarily anticipate them all RSVPing yes.  Some now live abroad.  Others probably won’t want to make the trip down for just the evening party and then have to pay for a room (which won’t even be at the venue).  Others still are just really really busy and probably won’t have the time.  So, if I remove all those I think will RSVP no..?

Evening guests; Total guests

I still have the bigger guest list, but I feel the difference is far more acceptable now!  And if I remove all the children (most of whom are going to be invited because their parents are, and we’re totally cool with a child-friendly wedding)…

Hooray!  Near equality!  Of course, it’s all conjecture anyway; who can tell which of our guests will RSVP in which way.  We won’t even be sending our invites out for a good few months in any case.  Sadly I’m really looking forward to seeing quite how the graphs will change once we find out who’s actually going to attend…

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