I don’t think you’re special. I mean, I think you’re special, but…you fall within a bell curve.

by clumsylawyer

Call me unromantic, but I don’t really adhere to the whole “Love at first sight” or “soul mates” malarky.  The concept that there is only one person who is our one true love, and we’ll know them the moment we see them is, as far as I’m concerned, a load of sentimental bullshit.

Please please please watch this video – it’s just perfect!

Basically I think that the concept devalues the worth of relationships.  Now, I do believe in lust at first sight (let’s be honest, you’d be pretty naïve to try to deny that one!), immediate attraction and chemistry.  But love?  No, that’s one that grows.  As far as I’m concerned, by claiming that you  are predestined to be with one person simplifies and belittles how important and complex and beautiful it is to love and to be loved.

I’ve written before about how A Man and I were very close friends before we were a couple, and that’s an intrinsic part of the love we have for one another.  We have done so much together and, in the oh-so wise words of Mr Minchin, “love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience.”

Like I said, I don’t deny that there was something when people say that “it was love at first sight” – chemistry between people is a very real thing, and I don’t just mean in terms of sexual attraction but any kind of relationship.  There are some people you just click with, whether that be because you have the same world-view, or similar hobbies or even if neither of you seem to agree on anything but you both appreciate a damned good debating session!  I think it’s daft, and also very sad to believe that everyone has just one shot at love.

I suppose I associate it with the Disney relationship package.  Every girl has her handsome prince waiting to sweep her off her feet and they all live happily ever after.  But life isn’t like that.  It’s full of difficulties, drama, heartbreak and compromise.  And as far as I’m concerned, to truly love someone is to stick by them and support them through those tough times.  Everyone will find it easier to stick by certain people, but no matter who you’re with you have to put in the hours – love is not something which is just there.  But it’s working through the difficulties together which makes it so worth while, because when the good times come around (and there are so many more good times than bad) you can enjoy them together in the safe knowledge that you have cared for your relationship and helped it to bloom into something new and even more beautiful.

So to A Man, I love you.  It has nothing to do with our ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’.  It has everything to do with the fact that we have worked hard together to build our relationship and with every day my love grows that bit more.  And I truly cannot imagine my life without you.

Do you believe in love at first sight?  Am I being a realist or a cynic?