The ‘B’ Word

by clumsylawyer

Several times, A Man and Bridesmaid L have informed me that, in the run-up to the wedding I will be a nightmare who no one will want to be around.  I’ll be moody and shouty and inconsolable when insignificant things go wrong.  In short, I’ll be a Bridezilla.

To me, the word ‘bridezilla’ suggests this.

And having people I love tell me that I’ll be a nightmare makes me want to cry.

Now, I realise that they don’t really think I’m going to turn into that, but the fact of the matter is that I’m semi-convinced that I’ll be pretty bearable in the run up to the big day.  But, only semi-convinced.

I’ve never been spoiled or felt entitled but I’m the first to admit that I’m a control freak.  I’m always the one to organise get-togethers with our friends.  I’ve organised holidays (and the one I didn’t organise, I totally freaked out about having no control over the plans and the expenditure).  I take complete control when we cook Christmas dinner together.  The problem is that I worry about people enjoying themselves.  And because I worry too much about that, I sometimes forget to enjoy myself too.  And I’m really bad at delegating.  And I like to show off, so I like things to be as absolutely perfect as possible.  You can see where this is going.

The thing is that I don’t have a ‘vision’ of the day.  Like I’ve said before, I never dreamed about my wedding until I actually started to plan it.  Not having an exact idea in my head of how things should look or be or run means I can’t be upset when they don’t go exactly to plan.  Having the perfect, immaculate day is not me, so I’m not going to be concerned if things don’t look like they’ve come straight from a magazine shoot.

“Do you have ANY IDEA how long it takes to make something look like it was thrown together in 5 minutes?!” Image from

When people come over to mine, I normally fret about food.  Having learnt from my mum, I’m a fairly good home cook, so I like to make something special when I have guests.  Unfortunately, like her, this ends up causing me stress in case I can’t pull it off.  Luckily I’m delegating the catering to Combe House so the only thing I have to worry about is choosing what people are going to be eating, and that’s well ahead of time.  Number one major stressor eliminated.

As I’ve said before, hair and makeup are not skills of mine.  At the Magdalen Ball and C and P’s recent wedding, having to deal with my own head made me very anxious.  Having someone in who knows what they’re doing means I don’t have to do it.  Number two major stressor eliminated.

In the end, I just put my hair up with a braid, a messy bun and a child’s alice band for C and P’s wedding. I’d like something a little more glamorous for my own…

I am doing a fair amount of DIY for the wedding, but I’ve already been getting on with it.  Having a long engagement has meant that I’ve had lots of time to plan things and do stuff, meaning there will (theoretically) be not too much last minute stuff to do.  Number three major stressor significantly reduced.

OK, so maybe I’m being naïve and regardless of how much I delegate and how much I get done in advance the emotional upheaval which will naturally come with the wedding will be too much for me and lead to a serious amount of unnecessary stress.  But I hope that I will be able to keep some perspective.  I hope that I’ll be able to prevent myself from turning into a massive psycho bitch.  And I really really hope that my friends and family love me enough to give me a stern talking to and a big slap upside the head if I’m being a diva.

Have you being accused of Bridezilla-ish behaviour?  Do you have any helpful hints and tips to help me prevent myself from alienating everyone I love?