The Common Law Marriage Myth

While we were at the Registration Office giving notice of marriage the other day, A Man spotted this postcard in a display:

Postcard published by Advice Services Alliance. Image from advicenow.org.uk.

Dream a little dream of me…

Last night I had a dream about the wedding.  It resulted in my waking up, desperately needing a glass of water and not being able to go back to sleep for ages.  Want to know what it was about?

Things going wrong.

It’s crazy to be having anxiety dreams with 9 months left until crunch time, but there we have it.  In my dream, I woke up in my bed at my parents’ house, with A Man.  This wouldn’t be a disaster, but I do envisage us spending the night before the wedding apart, primarily because I imagine that his mum would like to spend some time with him!  I also didn’t realise it was the wedding day, and there were a huge number of things which hadn’t been organised.

Eye’ve been thinking

I started uni in October of 2008.  I would spend entire days cooped up in my teeny tiny little bedroom, pushing myself to read through my textbook and pages and pages of legal cases.  One of the wonders of the 21st century means that much of the case-reading could be done via the internet.  I therefore spent a large percentage of my day staring at a computer screen.

I started to notice that I was finding it difficult to read slides during lectures, and that it was giving me a headache to concentrate on what was being written.  This is how, in December of 2008, I discovered that I had managed to make myself short sighted.

A Man and I pose in front of the canal in Amsterdam in March. Personal photo.

Etiquette Be Damned

If there’s one wedding-related thing which is almost guaranteed to get me really (and I’ll admit it, unreasonably) riled up, then it’s reading wedding forums’ etiquette boards.  As the forum I’m most involved with is Weddingbee, that’s the one which most frequently feels my wrath, but UKBride and TheKnot haven’t been immune.  Nor have wedding magazines, blogs and anywhere else I might find some ridiculously archaic “rule” of etiquette with which I simply do not agree.

I like some traditions.  For example, I couldn’t imagine Dad not walking me up the aisle, because it’s a way of acknowledging his importance in my upbringing, and in my life today.  I realise that the roots of this tradition come from the ‘property transaction’ of marriage, but the symbolism has (for me at least) evolved into something far more special and poignant.

Steve Martin as George Banks walks Annie up the aisle in Father of the Bride (1991). Image from www.ew.com.

The ‘B’ Word

Several times, A Man and Bridesmaid L have informed me that, in the run-up to the wedding I will be a nightmare who no one will want to be around.  I’ll be moody and shouty and inconsolable when insignificant things go wrong.  In short, I’ll be a Bridezilla.

To me, the word ‘bridezilla’ suggests this.

And having people I love tell me that I’ll be a nightmare makes me want to cry.

Procraftination

I’ve slipped into a bit of a wedding funk recently – I’ve got lots of time to do things, but I’m not sure what to do or where to start.  Either I’ve gone as far as I can with some DIY thing, I’ve started it and got fed up or I feel like it’s something best left for a couple of months.  Instead I’ve got myself stuck into a project which has been on the backburner for a while: making a coat for Best Man P.

Partially completed and hanging from the light fitting in my living room.

Date Night

No matter how long you’ve been together or what your other responsibilities, it’s important to make time to see one another.  I don’t necessarily mean by doing something gushy and romantic, but sending time doing something fun and silly helps to keep a relationship healthy and fresh.

Yesterday, A Man had the day off work and we trekked over to Salisbury to go to the cinema.  Although we watch DVDs at home a fair amount, it’s nice to get out of the house and see something on the big screen, even if it does cost a fortune these days and you’re surrounded by primary school kids.

Yeah, OK, so that latter point might just have something to do with going to see a Disney film. Image from salon.com.

No, please don’t buy us *things*!

It is a lovely thing that so many people enjoy giving gifts to couples who are getting married.  Of course, traditionally it would be the first time that couple would have lived together.  They would usually be young and would need all the help they could get, so bedsheets and crockery were essential presents so that they had something to sleep under and eat off of.  The modern bride and groom, however, are in a quite different state.  The average age for a UK bride is 30; for a groom it’s 32.  Marriage is likely to come after one or both parties have studied and established themselves within successful careers and one they have already lived together for a number of years, possibly in a house that they both own.

William and Kate were 28 and 29 when they married. Image from ibtimes.com.

Here Come the Girls

This week I’ve been in Edinburgh for Friend C’s hen do.  Here’s a quick run-down of our ‘weekend’ in the middle of the week:

Tuesday

Travelled by train from London King’s Cross to Edinburgh Waverley Station.  Got in the taxi to…

Kirkhill Mansion:

Image from kirkhillmansion.com

I don’t think you’re special. I mean, I think you’re special, but…you fall within a bell curve.

Call me unromantic, but I don’t really adhere to the whole “Love at first sight” or “soul mates” malarky.  The concept that there is only one person who is our one true love, and we’ll know them the moment we see them is, as far as I’m concerned, a load of sentimental bullshit.

Please please please watch this video – it’s just perfect!